Trump blames numerous sexual assaults on ‘sexy women’

WASHINGTON – Donald Trump shocked the world and drew ire today at a bizarre press conference, where he blamed ‘sexy women’ for sexual assaults. Championing the #HimToo movement, the president said sexy women were a ‘huge problem’ in today’s society. Reminiscent of the infamous Access Hollywood tape, Trump said when he sees sexy women he can’t control himself and does what comes naturally to him.

The president said he and others like him, were the ‘real victims’ in this and have been vilified unfairly in the media. “Our treatment has been very unfair. It’s been bad. If you go around town in a miniskirt, you have to expect a little attention. It’s their fault for dressing sexily”. Women’s rights activists shot back, that the clothes you wear doesn’t give you a free pass to assault women. Challenged by a journalist, whether his impulse control was less of that than of a lowly animal, Trump spat back angrily that he “had a very good brain”. He proceeded to challenge her to an IQ test.

Mr Trump finished the conference by saying, he was really looking forward to his next date with North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un and hoped he would pick “a real nice place for them to have dinner”. Trump was widely mocked on social media, for the Freudian slip, referring to his next meeting with the dictator as a date. A deluge of homoerotic memes circulated on Twitter. The president later clarified in a tweet, that he misspoke and it was not a date and he’s definitely not gay. He expanded by saying Jong-Un is not his type. A Whitehouse lawyer later said in a statement that, “What Donald Trump says does not represent the views of the president.” He declined to comment further.

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