Is Jeremy Corbyn a warlock?

Rumours are rife in Westminster today, after an explosive interview was published in several newspapers accusing Jeremy Corbyn of conducting in the dark arts. The source, known only as “George O” (not his real name), reasoned that Corbyn being a warlock was the logical conclusion after considering the observed evidence.

“It’s simple deduction. How can a bearded old man, have such a meteoric rise in poularity, with the youth? It just doesn’t make any sesne, it’s not like he’s Santa Clause.” George continued to say, that the Labour leader must be casting spells to wield his influence. “You’ve got to ask questions, this guy has appeared out of nowhere resembling Gandalf, and getting others to do his bidding. He’s got huge charisma.” George attributes Corbyn’s sorcery to knowledge gleaned from ancient times when he was a teenager.

He also points out that Mr Corbyn is inserting subliminal messages at getherings, giving Glastonbury as a prime example. “The chanting is almost pious. He gets them whipped up into a frenzy and then puts them into a hypnotic trance, here is where he gives them instructions. It shouldn’t be allowed.” This last allegation has prompted for some Conservative backbenchers, to call on the government to enact legislation countering such strategies.

Asked how an active parliamentarian such as Mr. Corbyn, could find the time to orchastrate wizardry on this scale, George responded by saying the “shadowy” sect known as momentum must be helping out. “Look, I’m not stupid. I know he’s got minions to do his dirty work, when he’s keeping up appearances at PMQs.”

A spokesman for Jeremy Corbyn declined to comment.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover – Reviewed

Lady Chatterley's LoverLady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A good start, a little dreary in the middle but a very strong finish. What I expected was a raunchy rompfest from start to finish, as I opened the book initially with trepidation, not because I’m some sort of pervert (this is an exercise left to the reader) but because of the hand clasped over the pudendum, on this edition’s front cover. I was somewhat surprised to find, that this risqué caricature wasn’t entirely accurate. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t somewhat graphic sex depictions or rather blue language but it wasn’t to the extent or in the manner I was expecting. Think Mellors ejaculating and feeling Connie up, the author makes excellent use of euphemism. Lawrence writes expertly towing the line between sensuality and obscenity. Though, for the time you can see why it was banned in Britain.

Impressively, the characters have quite contemporary ideas about society which were very forward thinking for the time and have become normalised in today’s age, to a certain extent. Such as, attitudes to sex and society. I did find the gamekeeper hard to understand and his broad Derbyshire dialect was quite annoying for that reason, though it was quite droll in someplaces. Personally, the setting does have a connexion [sic] to me and it was quite interesting for that reason. Lawrence does serve up a double bluff in that, Lady Chatterley has two lovers, just as you think she’ll be forever carrying on with Michaelis. The parts where Mellors and Connie are together were especially enjoyable to read. The widespread use of French was annoying, as these words were not in my dictionary, like with Moab is my Washpot.

“Tha’s got the nicest arse of anybody. It’s the nicest, nicest woman’s arse as is!

View all my reviews